On a glorious afternoon somewhere near Dorking, the mighty Hill produced a performance of such ruthlessness that local safeguarding officers may briefly have considered intervening.
Batting first, Park Hill amassed an imposing 250 for 9 from their 40 overs, built around a magnificent 99 from E Ransom. It was an innings of elegance, timing and controlled aggression, featuring 14 fours and 3 sixes, and it deserved a century in every conceivable way except the one officially recognised by scorers. El joins the elite club of “out for 99”. Rumours that he was just keen to avoid buying the drinks were quickly quelled by the reminder he’d never have deliberately made the absent Saturday captain that happy.
Stupples and Jeavons had laid a steady foundation at the top of the order before Tyler arrived late in the innings with all the restraint of a man swinging wildly at a piñata. His 52 from 29 balls included four sixes, several traumatised fielders, and at least one shot after which nearby parents instinctively shouted “watch your heads!” An excellent knock and first league fifty – well batted!
Extras also chipped in with 27 — a magnificent contribution from Park Hill’s ever-reliable twelfth man.
By tea, Park Hill had posted the sort of score that looks manageable until considering the opposition contained only two players who’d completed puberty.
The reply began fairly well for Hill. Tyler (2-0) removed two batters, one of them a proper grown up with a beard and everything via an absolute peach. The second was a small child, sharply caught at slip off Tyler’s “spin”. The wickets bookending hitting a non-whited child on the finger leading to a retired hurt. More on that later.
From there the innings developed all the structural stability of a paddling pool on a wintery Box Hill. Bawn bowled neatly for his wickets after replacing Tyler, with able support from Barry as Hill tore through the middle order.
With the aforementioned injured child returning to the wicket to (briefly) continue his innings, all round good guy Symons offered his well done for his bravery against adversity. The riposte, with tears rolling down his cheeks, in no uncertain terms was “fuck off” – to the delight of 10 Park Hillians.
Clare wrapped things up with two deserved wickets at the end after some fine fielding earlier in the innings that won her the coveted Fielder of the Day award. Special mention too in the field for El, who apparently decided that a near-century was not quite enough attention for one afternoon and added two sharp catches in the field for good measure.
Hill dismissed the oppo for 82 for a commanding 168 run victory and very possibly ensured several teenagers suddenly developed a stronger interest in football instead.
Scorecard: https://parkhill.play-cricket.com/website/results/7624265
Player of the match – Sponsored by Nicholls Residential = Tyler Jones
Park Hill Cricket Club 