Match Report: Dave Stupples
After last week’s fixture wash out and one of the wettest July’s on record Park Hill players could be forgiven for wanting to jet off for sunnier climes. Some persistent pestering and badgering on the club Whatsapp group eventually yielded a full complement of players, despite the notable absences of the in form Chipperton and E. Ransom, with the latter’s availability for Saturday having played out like a rendition of the Hokey Cokey (he’s in, out, in, out shake it all about).
Despite some heavy rain in the morning, the showers abated and Park Hill arrived at Haydon’s Road Rec in good spirits. A sheet of tarpaulin which was covering some but not all of the wicket was duly removed to reveal a rather green and sticky wicket which included several nuggets of dried dog excrement along the popping crease! Off the pitch things didn’t get much better. A quick pitstop at the nearby public toilets revealed that dirty protests were not just confined to the pitch, with a large sign hanging above the urinals with the plea “Do not poo in the urinals!! Please use toilets next door…”. There are certain things in life which you assume would never require explanation…
With the dog excrement flicked off the wicket and now lurking ominously somewhere in the outfield, captain MacKay strode out to the wicket to toss up. MacKay lost the toss and Hill were put into bat with the two David’s (Stupples and Symonds) opening up. Hill got off to a solid start with the double Ds milking singles and striking the occasional boundary on what proved to be a very slow and low pitch. Much to the exasperation of Blue Wings, some astute scurrying between the wickets saw the Ds steal several overthrows and byes as the Blue Wing’s keeper repeatedly tried to recreate the Carey-Bairstow runout each time failing to actually hit the stumps.
At the 20 over stage, with the run rate taking off, Hill were sitting pretty at 70 odd for non. Drinks brought the over exuberant, opportunistic and somewhat delusional cries of “200 minimum”. Alas Hill’s wings were clipped shortly after drinks with Stupples chipping a ball which stuck in the pitch to cover to depart for 40. With the score 79-1 captain MacKay arrived at the crease. With MacKay lofting several balls towards the neighbouring basketball courts the score continued to move along. However, his innings was cut short on 11 as he chipped up a ball which also stuck in the slow wicket to mid-wicket.
Aarsh arrived at the wicket at 98-2 and with a 200+ score looking more and more like a pipe dream. Aarsh and Symonds attempted to guide Hill towards a competitive total but some tight bowling by Blue Wings meant runs were hard to come by. With a genuine fear that he may bat through the innings for a sub 50 score and no longer content with plinking the ball around and scampering singles, Symonds decided to hit out Baz-Ball style. Alas, this change of approach only resulted in his middle stump being uprooted, and a despondent Symonds trudged back to the hutch having made a valuable 40 runs and the score 120-3.
With just over 10 overs to bat and with wickets in hand Hill attempted to push on. Unfortunately, Anysley-Smith was run out without troubling the scorers following some telepathic calling with Aarsh and some good fielding by Blue Wings. Young Rolfe also came and went quickly, being bowled for 5 having looked to put bat to ball.
At 131-6 and with just a few overs remaining Hill had well and truly hit turbulence. Hill debutant Upadhyyaya looked solid in his first outing to the middle for the club, swatting his first ball for an easy single. Aarsh then proceeded to slap the next ball between mid-on and midwicket for what looked like an easy two. The pair ran the first run comfortably, both turned for the second but in the process dithered in middle of the wicket before ultimately deciding to commit to the second run. The lack of decisiveness proved crucial as Upadhyyaya was run out just short of his ground.
Next in was Newcomen but he came and went, bowled for a second ball duck trying to clear the ropes. With Aarsh shortly following being caught for 17. Prem was then out LBW for 5 and Hill were stalling at 136-9. Barry and Guy saw out the remaining balls picking up the few runs that were on offer. With the last ball of the innings and Barry on strike Guy decided the best course of action would be to run no matter what to try and steal one last run. Whilst there was certainly some merit in this thinking, he failed to communicate his plan to as less agile Barry (several years his senior). The last ball came down, Barry swished and missed and Guy set off like a flogged whippet. Smith still oblivious to what was happening turned to see a frantic Guy at the same end. A less then amused Smith begrudgingly ambled towards the non-striker’s end before giving up less than half way down, slumping his shoulders and making an abrupt 90 degree turn towards the dressing room, sparing himself the sight and indignity of seeing his stumps broken as he was comprehensively run out.
Hill Closed their innings on 137 all out after 40 overs. Tea brought further amusement as a famished looking David Symonds, fatigued from having run the majority of his 40 runs in singles, rummaged around in his lunch box only to reveal (to his horror) that he had mistakenly packed a tin foil wrapped block of cheese instead of his lovingly prepared tin foil wrapped, cheese and pickle sandwiches which were presumably still in his fridge.
After the tea break a refuelled Hill and a beleaguered looking Symonds took to the field. Captain MacKay took the new ball and bowled a probing first over on a pitch which offered plenty of assistance. MacKay quickly found the outside edge of the Blue Wings opener, only for catch to be spilled at first slip. Despite a missed opportunity Hill’s optimism remained high. Guy Fergson toiled away at the other end having been promoted to opening the bowling at the behest of Prem. It wasn’t long before Hill got the break through they were looking for. Ferguson bustling in like a young Stewart Broad drew the opener into attempting a cut with the balling flying straight to Upadhyyaya who took a sharp catch at point. With the score 1-1 Ferguson soon had the other opener in trouble, the ball cannoning into his shin in front of middle with the batsman only managing to shuffle across his stumps. Despite being plumber than a plum in a plum pudding the Blue Wings umpire said “not out” and made some vague gesture to the ball going down leg, much to the bemusement of all. Ferguson now well versed in the dark arts of Surrey Cricket League umpiring was undeterred and bounced back to produce an absolute Jaffer that found the edge of the Blue Wings number 3 and Division 2’s leading run scorer Harshal Patel which MacKay duly gobbled up like a tofu burger at slip. Blue Wings were stunned and their run chase grounded at 10-2 with their big gun back in the sheds.
10 overs in and Hill had managed to keep a lid on the Blue Wings run chase. Prem replaced Guy and was quickly rewarded, comprehensively bowling the number 4 batsmen for 12. Hill’s premier spinner Barry Smith still simmering from his run out debacle replaced MacKay at the opposite end. Pace off the ball proved to be the order of the day and the Blue Wings batsmen struggled to score runs freely. Some miserly overs resulted in Barry taking a sharp caught and bowled chance, followed by the number 5 batsmen Mithun Patel dancing down the wicket only to be stumped by Stupples well short of his ground. Hill celebrated the wicket but the celebrations were cut short as it was noticed that Patel was still standing unmoved at the crease and the square leg umpire whose arms and hands were firmly zipped inside his fleece like a straightjacket had failed to raise his finger. Genuine enquiries were made with the square leg umpire as to whether her had in fact given Patel out but had been physically unable to raise his straightjacketed finger. Bizarrely but that not surprising for the TSCL, the umpire suggested the batsmen had made his ground much to shock to everyone at the ground who had the gift of sight. Despite being given a reprieve, Patel didn’t last much longer before chipping a Barry slower ball to Mackay to short midwicket to leave Blue Wings reeling at 47-5.
Barry bowled out with economical figures of 2 for 23 off 8. Sensing a win Mackay brought himself and Ferguson back on. Ferguson struck first with the batsmen skying the ball to square leg where Upadhyyaya was fielding. What should have been a relatively simple catch for Upadhyyaya was made somewhat challenging by the fact that the square leg umpire had (for reasons only known to him) was lying sprawled out on the floor instead of actually adopting the conventional standing posture! Upadhyyaya skilfully avoided trampling the sprawling human obstacle which had manifested itself on the pitch and took the catch cleanly much to the delight of Park Hill.
The next wicket to fall was Blue Wing’s number 7 batsman following a fleeting but useful partnership. The number 7 batsmen drove the ball firmly from Mackay towards the extra cover region where, Barry Smith, rejuvenated from his bowling figures was standing in wait. Barry leapt in the air like a cross between super man and a spawning salmon and miraculously, one handedly plucked the ball out of the sky! Smith landed on the ground wide eyed and with a thud and was quickly converged on by a whooping Park Hill mob. The score 84-7.
Hill were on top but were running short on bowling options as the Blue Wings batsmen regrouped for another valuable partnership. With pace off proving hard to hit throughout the game, Mackay threw the ball to Newcomen who repaid the faith, taking a wicket in his second over. With the score 103-8 Blue Wings decided to hit out and this rudimentary approach to batting yielded rewards and all bowlers took some tap, with the ball often landing between fielders.
In the end the Blue Wings batsmen road their luck and combined big hits with some smart running which ate away at the Hill total. With the front-line bowlers bowled out Hill were unable to take the final two wickets with Blue Wings knocking off the runs in the 32nd over. A top effort by all Hillians involved to push the league leaders all the way to the end, the game really could have gone either way.
Hopefully Symo will remember to pack his ploughman’s lunch next week as we plough a new furrow against Ploughmans CC.
Up the Hill!
Park Hill Cricket Club 